WWB (Worlds Worst Blogger)
It's been a long time since my fingers typed anything other than work emails,and meeting notes
So last time I wrote I was still stuck at a job I hated, I was struggling to maintain my new solo living situation, and of course COVID. For a long time I felt like I had nothing to say, no inspiration to write.My faithful readers asked me when I was going to write some more. Truth is , I didn’t think I would ever blog again.
Let’s take it back to 2016 when I first started my blog. The social media world was so different than it is now.During that time I was venturing into a new chapter of my life. I had just lost my dad to cancer and disappeared for what seemed like an eternity. Soon after, I was diagnosed with my anxiety disorder, moderate depression, and so forth.
At that time, I couldn’t stop writing. I felt like I finally found my niche, I was focusing on my mental health, and how I managed my symptoms with holistic practices and good meds. For months I was typing Kermit the Frog. I was constantly using my life as an open book and I was gaining attention of the mental health community as well as followers and friends.I was literally posting new blogs 2-3 times per month. It was great.
Eventually life slowed me down as I’m sure it did for so many people. Around the end of 2020, I decided to revamp everything. I was laser focused on publishing a new site, new pictures, starting my YouTube, making amazing videos and reels. For a while I did just that. Ya know… Social media is…an interesting place. One day you’re right on with the trends, remove yourself a day or 2 and it's a whole new wave. I couldn’t keep up, no matter how hard I tried.
It really hit me whileI was creating images for Valentine’s Day. I prepped, did some D.I.Y decor, recorded my makeup look. Yet, I was not happy with what I had produced. I wasn’t happy AT ALL. I felt like the world’s worst blogger.
It was that day I said to myself , I'm just not that girl. I tried to be what social media wanted from a plus size influencer. I showed off my outfits, makeup favorites, silly TikToks. I felt like I was less than because (despite popular opinion) I don’t always enjoy cameras in my face or recording every time I visit a cool place. Don’t get me wrong, Ienjoy getting dressed up and being flirty with the camera from time to time, I just refuse to fake a lifestyle that's not me.
I buy my clothes off the clearance rack, nobody sends me clothes to do hauls, none of that, and I’m okay with that. I watch so many women trying to keep up and it's exhausting.
I just want to be my authentic self. Sometimes I’m funny, serious, random and a little socially awkward. That's me Curvy, Confident, and Nervous. I also found that on this new journey of healing, and self love, I may not always be in a space to write and share my experiences. Some things are best kept near and dear to my heart. Does this mean I won’t be writing again? Who knows… Will my content be different if I do? Will I stray away from my Mental Health TBD?
What I do know is , I want to be ME! I want my writing to be a reflection of who I am now and where I’m headed in life. This writer is a fan of herself, her work, and who she is becoming. I look forward to being the best version of me and sharing my adventures with you all. So as I was in the middle of writing this new blog I got some news.
For the last few months I started rapidly losing weight, and I began to lose my hair. After developing so many symptoms, I finally went to the doctor and that’s when I got the news that I was…..
